This week on the blog, we are talking candidly about problem solving, conflict resolution, trouble shooting that sometimes needs to happen leading up to, and on, your big day. As ominous as that sounds, we here at Milestone are firm believers in preventative measures, as opposed to damage control. This week, we hope to bring to light some of the things you can anticipate and work around to make your wedding day as stress free as possible. Failing that, we’ll also give you a few helpful tips and tidbits to help you out if sticky situations do happen to arise.
When discussing the topic for the week, I volunteered to write about families. As calm and collected as my family typically is, it was interesting for me, during my own wedding, to see how much the surge of emotion surround my big day affected normally sane family members. Unexpected tears, stress, bickering were popping up left and right. We see this in many of the weddings we plan, and few people seem to understand why.
It’s pretty simple when you step into to Mom’s shoes, though. Where bride has been planning the day since the moment the ring was slipped on her finger, mom has been planning it since her little girl was born. There has to be a major sense of lost control upon envisioning your baby walk down the aisle.
The same goes for mother of the groom. Watching a new lady step in to your sons life has to be tough emotionally. I can only imagine my mother-in-law’s feelings, knowing there was a new Mrs. Bays on the scene. Luckily for me, my mother-in-law is great, and really seemed to embrace those emotions and channel them into help with the wedding. Total light bulb moment. Give mom as much control as she needs with the wedding, within reason, and you will show her just how important and involved in your life she is, and will always be.
On this same note, when it comes to decision making. I believe it is only fare to keep the parents involved. I do, however, believe that the wedding is your day, and the ultimate say should be by bride and groom. So where is the balance? I alway suggest that once the bride and groom come up a few options they are really happy with- lets use choosing menu selections for example- they then bring those top choices to mom and dad, who can give input on the final say. That way bride and groom get one of their top choices, and the parents can feel like their opinion in truly valued. Win Win!
Essentially, it is all about empathy when it comes to loved ones and emotional stress. Just keep in mind the notion of “how would I feel?” And, even if, after anticipating and emotions of your nearest and dearest, problems do arise, just know that it’s not your fault. Like I said, stress can do funny things to people. Water off a ducks back is a motto I have learned to live by in this industry.
There a whole host of additional family feuding issues I could launch into from here, but should probably keep this a blog, not a textbook. So I’ll leave you with that. Happy planning!